ulblog.org » Wisdom City http://www.ulblog.org A blog dedicated to the discussion of urban legends, superstitions, ghost stories and folklore Mon, 22 Feb 2010 01:51:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 en hourly 1 Character Profile: The Five O’Clock Shadow http://www.ulblog.org/2006/09/30/character-profile-the-five-oclock-shadow/ http://www.ulblog.org/2006/09/30/character-profile-the-five-oclock-shadow/#comments Sun, 01 Oct 2006 03:48:41 +0000 Murray @ ulblog http://www.ulblog.org/2006/09/30/character-profile-the-five-oclock-shadow/ The scourge of the late afternoon [1], The Five O’Clock Shadow receives his devastating Shadow Powers [2] at the stroke of 5pm, only to lose them again an instant later.

As a result, The Five O’Clock Shadow is one of Wisdom City’s more frustrated superheroes, since it’s surprisingly difficult to combat crime when all you have [...]

]]> The scourge of the late afternoon [1], The Five O’Clock Shadow receives his devastating Shadow Powers [2] at the stroke of 5pm, only to lose them again an instant later.

As a result, The Five O’Clock Shadow is one of Wisdom City’s more frustrated superheroes, since it’s surprisingly difficult to combat crime when all you have is a single second in which to do it.

∗∗∗

‘What time is it?’ Bernard Midlifecrisis asked.

Harry Flonk, half-brother of Wisdom City’s most devious camouflage expert [3], glanced at his watch. ‘4:59. Why’s that? Got an appointment or something?’

‘No, no. It’s just that… when 5pm arrives I tend to… oh dear… I… It’s… NNNNOOOOAARRGGH! YESSS! COWER IN THE DARKNESS, CRIMINALS OF WISDOM CITY, FOR I SHALL USE MY POWERS OF BLOCKING LIGHT AND CASTING SOLID OUTLINES ONTO WALLS TO CRUSH YOUR NEFARIOUS PLANNNSAAAAARGH! … bugger…’

‘That,’ said Harry Flonk, ‘was really, really unexpected. You went all wobbly.’

‘It happens every day at 5pm,’ said Bernard with a sigh, massaging a spot just above his eyebrows.

‘That must be very annoying. It annoyed the hell out of me, and I was just sitting here.’

‘You have no freaking idea,’ said Bernard; and in this he was wrong, because his friend often had a number of freaky ideas.

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Footnotes:
1.Or the early evening, depending on how you look at it…
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2.i.e., the terrifying ability to block light.
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3.Being Drew Flonk, who was so gifted at the art of camouflage that no-one knows what he looked like, or even if he actually existed at all.
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