Urban Legends. Myths. Superstitions. Ghost Stories. Folklore. Creative Writing. Observations. Things .

Archive for December, 2007

Conversation with Duncan

By popular demand {i.e. Duncan asked me to go looking for this post}, I’ve dredged the following up from the archives of my previous blog, PlanetThoughtful. It was originally posted on 6 June 2003.

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Me: I have this theory.
Duncan:   I think my cat is about to jump me. I can tell, he gets all sleek and, you know, jumpy…
Me: My theory is that every man is more or less Antonio Banderas.
Duncan:   …Every man is a good looking latinesque guy with dark curly hair?
Me: Well, obviously not all at once, no. But I think you should be able to measure your Antonio Banderasness as a kind of quotient. And there would be days, I assume, where you would be much more Antonio Banderas than on others. For instance, I have days when I’m so Antonio Banderas that I feel like I should be suing the other one for copyright infringement. (a small, reflective pause) Obvioulsy not many of them, of course.
Duncan:   Don’t you think the real Antonio Banderas might be a little bit upset about this theory?
Me: Well, that’s my point. Maybe he isn’t the real Antonio Banderas? Maybe he’s just more Antonio Banderas than the original one was. Maybe the original one was a pig farmer from Iowa? Do they have pig farms in Iowa? Anyway, so maybe this Antonio Banderas just has a very high Antonio Banderas quotient… So the real one — the pig farmer I mean — would be pretty damn annoyed about the whole thing too, wouldn’t you think?
Duncan:   I was right. My cat jumped me.
Me: …I think I’d like you to call me Mr Banderas from here on in.